Obsolete Certainty

BETHEL, Ohio (AP) — For a second time, an Ohio woman has given birth to a baby who couldn’t wait and arrived on the drive to the hospital….

FORT SMITH, Ark. (AP) — Police said a baptism party where some uninvited guests arrived turned into a brawl that resulted in gunfire. Police were dispatched to the Progressive Men’s Club at 2 a.m. Saturday after a caller reported gunfire. Witness Amy Manjarrez told Fort Smith television station KHBS that her uncle was pistol whipped and that others, including her father and a disk jockey, were beaten….

SONORA, Calif. (AP) — A 70-year-old yard sale shopper is facing charges after things apparently got a bit out of hand at a yard sale. Tuolumne County authorities said Jon Joslin was arrested on suspicion of assault with a deadly weapon after he allegedly hit another man over the head with a cornbread pan at the sale Friday. A sheriff’s spokesman said Joslin hit the fellow shopper with a five-pound, cast iron pan to prevent him from getting to the sale first….

SOMERSET, Mass. (AP) — A practical joker in Massachusetts has taken advantage of recent shark sightings and caused a scare with a fake fin….

MILLINOCKET, Maine (AP) — Police in Millinocket, Maine, are puzzled as to why the town’s late police chief had a realistic looking fake bomb in his home. The device was found by the new owners of the home, which had remained empty for several years, when they were moving in on Saturday. They called Millinocket police who in turn called the Maine State Police bomb squad. The neighborhood was evacuated for four hours….

AMITYVILLE, N.Y. (AP) — The owner of the New York house made famous in the 1979 film “The Amityville Horror” is holding a moving sale….

MILWAUKEE, Wis. (AP) — If he doesn’t win the Wisconsin governor’s race, Republican candidate Mark Neumann may have a future in holding beer steins….

BROOKFIELD, Wis. (AP) — A driver who tried to change his sweaty clothes while driving through a Milwaukee suburb was stopped by police but let off with a warning. Police said that when they pulled the 54-year-old over in Brookfield Aug. 13, he complained he was uncomfortable in his clothes because he had spent a sweltering day at the Wisconsin State Fair….

FAYETTEVILLE, N.C. (AP) — Court is no laughing matter as far as one North Carolina judge is concerned. A Fayetteville man who was waiting for his case to be heard Friday drew the ire of Judge Toni King after starting to laugh in a Cumberland County courtroom. Authorities said King asked 47-year-old Johnny Montgomery why he was laughing, but the man refused to say….

WELLINGTON, New Zealand (AP) — A crate of Scotch whisky that was trapped in Antarctic ice for a century was finally opened Friday – but the heritage dram won’t be tasted by whisky lovers because it’s being preserved for its historic significance….